Welcome 2022, good riddance to 2021.

Happy New year to everyone! I hope everyone will have a better 2022 than 2021 was.

I certainly hope that 2022 is much better than 2021 was for me.

I made it through, that is the short of it. I can give you a short laundry list of what happened to me which is why i couldn’t make deadlines but that sounds like an excuse right off the bat. Life happens especially in the middle of a pandemic. The fact is, I don’t really care about deadlines anymore and i dont have the capability to set any deadlines or dates for 2022. suffice it to say, due to what happened in 2021, i have to put my life back together still. not to mention my identity. Don’t say, “that’s what you get for being trans,” that is not what I am talking about.

After my father died, secrets came to life about my past. everything told to me about my past was a lie. that is my 2021. to sum up my 2021: trust no one. to say “God is dead, humanity is fucked, trust no one, the world is on fire, love seems like a lie” that is my 2021.

My marriage ended at the beginning. my father died, going through boxes in the estate i found documents that hint that im not an only child but the only surviving child, and I find more secrets than that later because that story gets even stranger and earth shattering for me as the year went on. and i am still sorting the damage on that. it will take several posts just to explain it all.

Through it all I at least had a couple of friends that helped me through it. One of them started dating me near the end of the year and we are living together now. I feel glad for the support that i have through this time at least.

I will post more when I can.

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October 2021: A time for Ghosts, Ghouls, Death, Updates and…

Sorry, 2021 has been on track to be one year for the books for me. In many ways.

 

I have had little time for writing. While in most years I have had time to get writing in on most days, even enough to squeeze an hour or two on most days, I have been having enough trouble even getting mind in a state for fifteen minutes of medidtation most days which is a problem when i try to find time to write on a given day. I have to set a calendar reminder to tell myself to write otherwise I am going to forget to write in a week and that is bad for my state of mind.

The good thing about my writing slowing down means that my backlog of books has not grown as my books going out to published has gone down has gone out the door as well. However, I would have wished I could have gotten my books out to you at the expense of being able to write instead of lowing down both books coming out of my head as well as books coming out of my backlog. I would rather have nothing in the backlog and that to blame for nothing new hitting amazon than it because of my personal life…

Speaking of that.

The end of September hits and That seemed to be the perfect time for My family to start spilling the beans about my past. I won’t go into details about my past but suffice it to say, A lot of things that had been told to me throughout my troubled life have been wrong. Not about what happened to me or about my ancestors per se. But about circumstances surrounding my birth and a couple of details around that. Close people to me know more about that.

Suffice it to say. In one week, I went from being an only child to being the only surviving child of my father. my background went from being normal to being stranger than one of my characters I created. My life started to turn into a conspiracy and the adult members of my family were in on it. the surviving adult members of my family decided that now was the time to tell me. The children of my family, now my age, didnt really know about it.

It is a rare thing to have your entire world crashing down around you. We all have our own world narrative and that personal narrative seems iron clad. everything else seems flexible to an open mind as long as we have some firm ground to stand on. That firm ground being our own identity. Usually that identity, if we don’t have some strong sense of family to stand on, is our own experience and where we came from. before September I thought I knew who I was and where I came from. As of this post, I can’t be sure of that anymore. The only thing I can be sure of now is everything I have made for myself since I became of age and became independent.

They originally told me I was born Kenneth brooks, an only child, then they said most of this was a lie.

I am Kendra Brooks, A druid, A writer, A system Engineer, A Chimera. A strong and independent little sister. 

June 25th Comments and Updates

Well, I know its been over a month.

Happy Late Strawberry Moon! and Happy late Alban Heruin (Summer Solstice) to all those who celebrate the holiday. I hope everyone is staying cool this summer.

I am alive. I have been taking care of health issues as well as taking care of personal issues in my life. I haven’t had much time to write so I don’t have any Fiction Fest chapters to post yet nor do I have any editing done for the next book to come out. I am sorry that I have fallen so behind.

I am single and back in Greeley again. That is the first bit of news. I am sure that you don’t care about that, but that does cause a stir when you need to move as you have to relocate and move things. this also isn’t going to be the last move for me, as I am going to have to relocate again sometime in the near future.

2021 has not been the best year for me, I am still dealing with the death of my father. It has hit me a lot harder than I thought and despite the strained relationship we had when we were alive, I didn’t imagine that I would be living a life without him in the world this soon. I know he was almost 80 but 2 weeks before he died he was completely okay, it was only in the final days before he died that he slipped down hill so fast, that he went from being old but relatively healthy (at least he put on a good act if nothing else) to how he was at the end. Even with how he went, death had to sneak up on him and take him from behind.

Other issues happened this year too. There were some positives too; one was being diagnosed with hypothyroidism which was fixed with a pill, that helped worlds for me, that and some new migraine medication to help some of my migraines and migraine variants, recent but very needed and thankful developments. I have also been making some new friends recently.

I am hoping that this hard chapter in my life has at least reached a middle if not nearing the end.

you ever get the feeling you need a vacation?

True Story: Everyday Heroes.

Just a recent update.

As some of you well know. I am going through a separation. That makes things pretty interesting, especially when you are trying to keep good friendships with you exes alive and stay in your children’s lives.

it makes things interesting when you have a seizure disorder and a host of other health issues that has also made you disabled. Stress can affect all of the above and do interesting things to you which in turn will have an affect on your body. Some for the bad.

 

The reason why my site has been acting strange recently is due to my neglect. I had been pretty remote from my server for the past several weeks, dealing with the death of my father on top of the divorce. I went out to see my Mother and Stepmother to help grieve. While I was there, I met Lauryn online and quickly fell in love. She took me home and we have been together ever since.

This last Saturday we were getting ready to go. I was talking to her friend Jesse while she was getting ready in the garage. I turned to head up the steps to go inside. (This is an abridged version of events) I got up to the top stair and Lauryn opened the door. She was surprised to see me just like I was to see her. she said “Oh hey there!” and the next thing I basically remember (aside from interesting dream sequences and her and Jesse calling out my name, talking to each other) is waking up on a car, my head hurt, my neck hurt, and my back hurt. Lauryn was looking at me and and asking if I was okay. she told me i passed out and fell against the car. She told me I was out for 10 minutes.

I jumped up (probably a bad idea after what happened) and apologized. I walked inside on my own. I told her I loved her. i apologized for the seizure and as the pain got worse i laid down. she called 911 and the EMTs checked me out. I went to the hospital after the EMT’s cleared me as Lauryn wanted me to and surprisingly i only escaped with bruised muscles and a mild concussion.

What had happened when Lauryn and I saw each other at the door way was I had a seizure and fell. I fell off the top step, backward and onto a car. Surprising I did not dent the car. Once I hit the car, Lauryn caught me and called out to Jesse to hold us to keep me from sliding onto the floor and fridge. They kept me stable for the 10 minutes it took for them to call out and revive me. Since I don’t remember anything about the fall and being caught or held by Jesse and Lauryn,

Lauryn is my Hero and the love of my life. Jesse is also my hero. I don’t know where I would be without them.

 

Do you have any everyday heroes that you want to give a shoutout to? leave a name or story in the comments below.